Stephen Colbert has joined the celebration of marriage equality! On Friday June 29, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that same-sex couples could marry legally in all 50 states.
However, Colbert’s response to the historic decision could not just be a short vine of himself waving rainbow flags enthusiastically. Instead, Colbert celebrated by doing what he does best: delivering a hilariously sarcastic monologue.
The new Late Show host posted a monologue on YouTube in which he calls out each Supreme Court Justice that had issues with the idea of same-sex couples getting married (i.e. the four justices in the 5-4 decision).
After joking that the new ruling was not good for everyone, referencing “gays with commitment issues,” Colbert turns to Chief Justice John Roberts, Justice Samuel Alito, Justice Antonin Scalia, and Justice Clarence Thomas.
His impression of the four dissenting Justices resembled a monster, as he scrunched up his face and started swinging his fists around growling, “Argh…Gay bad!”
However, once he turns to the physical text that these Justices provided to explain their issues with marriage equality, things get even funnier.
Chief Justice Roberts wrote that marriage equality is a great achievement, but “the constitution had nothing to do with it.” Colbert mocks this with a fake card written by Roberts to a same-sex couple on their wedding day where he congratulates them, but then calls them “a cancer on our democracy.”
However, it was Justice Scalia’s “fiery” dissent that gets the most attention. He mentions hiding his head in a bag and he eloquently compares the Supreme Court to a fortune cookie.
Apparently, Colbert appreciates Scalia’s unique way with words and the host actually invites Scalia to his show!
Colbert begins hosting the Late Show on CBS on September 8.
In the meantime, check out the video below and join the celebration.