10 Things Ron Weasley Would Do If He Found Himself in Detroit

 

 

Photo Credit: morguefile.com

Photo Credit: morguefile.com

  1. He would mistake all the misplaced Canadian coins for Wizard currency.

Seriously, Detroiters, do we not have proof that Canadian coins AREN’T Wizard currency? Their edges are weird and not as smooth as an American coin, and the closer you live to the Ambassador Bridge, the more likely you are to get one in your change at 7-Eleven. I’m pretty sure the only person who wouldn’t be completely freaked out by a Canadian coin is Pureblood wizard, Ron Weasley. He’d be all like, “Oh, a Galleon! How keen!” or something.

  1. He would be really confused as to why the pictures in the Detroit Institute of Arts weren’t moving.

First, he’d be confused that he didn’t have to use his Wizard/Canadian money to get in. But then, he’d be even more stumped when he sees that the distressed woman in Fuseli’s The Nightmare isn’t actually shrieking in terror. She’s just… still. He’d send a note to Hermione by owl post about that one for sure.

  1. He would eat everything on the Buddy’s menu.

For those of you who don’t know, Buddy’s Pizza is a place where you can get all kinds of pizzas, pastas, and pretty much every food in between. Pizza is pretty foreign to the Wizarding World, but I think Ron would love it. After scarfing down two Detroiters (yes, that’s an item on the menu) and trying some of their Margarita pizza, he’d turn to ravioli and their famous wedge fries. The waiter would look at him strangely when he asks for pumpkin juice, however.

  1. He would walk into Ford Motor Company and pitch them an idea – the flying car.

Thank goodness Ron is out of Hogwarts now. That one would get him killed – or worse, expelled.

  1. He would walk into Wayne State University and ask students which House they’re in.

Some kids carrying balls that look nothing like the Quaffle would look at him like, “What in the world?” However, he’d be impressed with (and thoroughly confused by) the girl behind The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde who says that she’s in Ravenclaw. You know the type.

  1. He would probably get really into The White Stripes.

Pale kids with tons of talent who look like they should be at Hogwarts anyway? Yeah, Ron would be singing “Seven Nation Army” before you know it.

  1. He would get really, really into college football.

We don’t really have Quidditch here in the Muggle world, but lots of people from Detroit care just as deeply about college football. Of course, this would remind Ron of Quidditch, and the Michigan Wolverines would become his new Chudley Cannons. Sorry, Michigan State Spartans – we’re just a little closer to the heart of Detroit than you are.

  1. He would go to Olga’s for dinner.

Olga’s is a Detroit tradition, just like Buddy’s. They’ve got these sandwiches wrapped in some kind of magical pita bread. Ron, of course, would be able to confirm it for us. Is the bread really, actually magical? This is why we need him here.

  1. He would go to Hitsville, USA.

The Motown museum? Yeah, Ron would go. He would accidentally stumble into it, thinking it was a hotel, but he’d probably be pretty impressed with the music history here in Detroit. He would insist on The Temptations’ “My Girl” being his wedding song with Hermione.

  1. He would make the enormous tiger statue at Comerica Park move.

Granted, Ron probably wouldn’t be a huge fan of the Detroit baseball team. He seems like a football guy to me. But he would see an opportunity to freak out the Muggles for a little bit and make the big, tiger statue give the city a wave. It would be all in good fun.

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