10 Unintentionally Scary Things

Credit: MorgueFile

Credit: MorgueFile

  1. Oompa Loompas from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Don’t get us wrong – the Oompa Loompas in 2005’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are pretty freaky, too. But there’s something about the ones in the Gene Wilder version. Their songs are scarier and have this really obvious sense of moral superiority. I mean, sing it with me, “Oompa Loompa, loop-ah-dee-do, I always know the right thing to do.” Scary. Scarier than The Shining.

  1. Taco Bell meat

It reminds us of going to preschool, putting a little, plastic creature in a glass of water, and watching it grow over the course of the week.

  1. When cartoon characters kiss

Do we really need to see that, Anna and Kristoff from Frozen? The answer is no. We don’t.

  1. When Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) speaks Parseltongue in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

For those of you who don’t know, Parseltongue is when you can speak to snakes, which is not a good sign in the Wizarding World. Usually, it means you’re totally evil. And for good reason – Parseltongue is freaking terrifying. It’s guttural, low, slow, and sounds like if your tires could talk when they’re losing their air. No. OK – maybe that was intentionally scary.

  1. Superman’s bulletproof skin

He’s supposed to be the nicest alien in the world, but when he walks through a ton of bullets like they’re flower petals, that’s terrifying. You can’t argue against that.

  1. Billy Ray Cyrus’ mustache disguise on Hannah Montana

No, seriously, what was that? He couldn’t have picked a wig? He had to go with that caterpillar crawler. He should have taken it off way sooner than he actually did. It suited him, and at the same time, it totally didn’t. That takes talent – talent only the “Achy Breaky Heart” crooner could pull off.

  1. Super Size Me

I know it’s supposed to scare you into buying organic food, but it ended up being more like a horror film than a documentary with an actual point. Remember when they filmed a gastric bypass surgery? Sorry I brought it up again, but you have to admit. That was worse than any scene in The Thing.

  1. Those two episodes of Full House where Michelle (Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen) lost her memory

Fun Fact: Since the episodes aired in 1995, every time a young girl bumps her head on something, she recites her basic information to ensure that she totally doesn’t have amnesia.

  1. Green potato chips

Look, we don’t care if they did a special on beloved children’s cartoon, Arthur, about why green potato chips are safe to eat. No one wants to go near anything that resembles the slime at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.

  1. Disney’s Dinosaur

Dinosaurs are terrifying enough to think about. The last thing we need is to see their mouths move all CGI like they’re human. No thank you. Author’s Note: I personally refused to see this movie because I didn’t think dinosaurs should ever, ever speak English. Or any human language.

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