Aries: If you’re an Aries, you’re such a Colleen Donaghy (Elaine Stritch). Like Jack’s mom, you are determined in whatever area you’ve decided to conquer today. Want to destroy your son’s day? You can do it, you aggressive Aries, you! Your ambition rules every decision you make, and you kick can 100% of the time. Maybe this explains why you seem to win at everything, including (but not limited to) snagging the role of Sandy in a retirement community production of Grease.
Taurus: You’re most like Pete Hornberger (Scott Adsit), producer on TGS with Tracy Jordan. You deal with a lot of crazy stuff… stuff that would make weaker beings quit. Not you. Somehow, you manage to be patient, even when the people you work with lock themselves in their rooms because they think they look fat or run out onto the middle of the highway, screaming, “I AM A JEDI!” You always know how to solve a problem, and you have secret strength. Watch out.
Gemini: Gemini, you’re most like the star of TGS, Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski). What’s that? Tracy’s the star? Not according to Jenna, and certainly not according to you. Like Jenna, you’re a little indecisive. You can’t decide whether or not you’re the best actor in the world or the worst, the fattest person in the world or the skinniest. However, you are extremely smart and cunning, capable of pulling off a Ponzi scheme at any ice cream chain in the United States.
Cancer: Congratulations! You’re most like Liz Lemon (Tina Fey)! You’ve got a lot of emotions, mostly about food and Star Wars, but you’re a good friend. You have a great head for creativity and business because you just never give up. Anything can be awesome once it’s got a little Lemon in it. Of course, you are highly selective. You won’t settle for anything less than Astronaut Mike Dexter (in other words, the best).
Leo: Leos are most like Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer), NBC’s real rags to riches story – from lowly page to president of the network. Like Kenneth, you have a real warmth about you. You’re faithful to whatever you put yourself in, and you’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Except for when you’re not a friend. You’re just a co-worker who would do anything for any of your co-workers whenever they need you. You’re such a Kenneth.
Virgo: Well, Virgo, I have some news. You’re most like Toofer (Keith Powell). You’re very proud of your intelligence. In fact, if you haven’t told ten people today, you probably went to Harvard. Everything you do is precise. In fact, you put the “practical” in practical joke. Your precision drives some people crazy, especially with your correct pronunciations of everything in the dictionary, but you do you.
Libra: You’re most like Dotcom (Kevin Brown), one-third of Tracy’s entourage. You are super well-cultured, know how to balance an argument of epic proportions, and you appreciate the beauty in everything. That’s right, you’re a fan of Angels in America and of Taylor Swift. No one can stop you from appreciating all the art you can. We’re going to take a wild guess and say you’re probably the sanest person you know. Are we right?
Scorpio: Scorpio, this should come as no surprise – you’re such a Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin). Your will is so strong, metal cowers in fear. You can will yourself to do or refrain from anything. If you wanted to, you could go from working in the mailroom to being the CEO of a major company in less than a day. Also, you somehow manage to only pass gas once a year, atop a mountain of Switzerland. You’re relentless in your goals, and some people might think you’re a villain. You’re not, though. You’re just the mighty Scorpio.
Sagittarius: If you’re a Sagittarius, you are most like Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan), the real star of TGS. You’re oddly philosophical (“Compromises are for lesser souls. Die, werewolf zombie.”). You remain positive and optimistic about pretty much everything. Only you could decide to win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony in one year. You have big dreams, and you put them to the test. Good for you!
Capricorn: You’re most like Frank Rossitano (Judah Friedlander). You dominate every court you walk in (pranks, the writers’ room, even the literal courtroom). You’re pretty much a genius, and your commanding personality impresses people. OK, sometimes it terrifies and annoys them. But you know who you are. Be you, Capricorn.
Aquarius: Aquarius, you’re most like Liz Lemon’s second best boyfriend, Floyd DeBarber (Jason Sudeikis). You’re smart, smart enough to be a lawyer, and you’re a genuinely nice person most of the time. After all, you have a stereotypically Midwestern personality. Your insights are constantly on point (“I feel more confused and betrayed than those people who worked with Tootsie!”), and you’re pretty serious about your goals. And Cleveland. You’re probably really serious about Cleveland.
Pisces: And you, Pisces, you are most like Liz Lemon’s husband, Chriss Cross (James Marsden). You are a dreamer, with big fantasies of running something extravagant… like a hot dog van business. You’re probably very musical, with your favorite instrument being something like the harp or the ukulele. Your imagination knows no bounds, and you’re never afraid to show your true personality… no matter how weird that personality might be.
This cult classic’s seven seasons can be streamed on Netflix.