Florida Man Demands to Marry His “Porn-Filled Computer”

Photo Credit: Morguefile.com

Photo Credit: Morguefile.com

Who are we to stand in the way of true love? Black, white, or purple, skin color should not matter. Gender for that matter should not be scrutinized; two men can love each other more than anything in this world! It’s all about true love right people? Well, how about a Florida man wanting to marry his “porn- filled apple computer?”

Chris Sevier, a man from Florida, believes he should be allowed to wed his MacBook. His argument is that if gays are allowed to marry then so should other sexual minorities.  Sevier claims that after buying his computer without porn filters he “fell in love,” and “Prefers to have sex with it over all other persons or things.”

Sevier expands on his main argument saying, “If gay people have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

Sevier describes himself as “a former judge advocate and combat veteran.” He is persistent, filing claims not only in Florida but also Utah. The Utah claim runs about fifty pages long, it is also meant to try and stop gay marriage since he does not agree with it.

Sevier was banned from practicing law in Tennessee in 2011 due to “mental infirmity or illness.” He has a history of weird lawsuits, such as suing A&E for suspending Duck Dynasty‘s Phil Robertson, suing Apple for selling him the computer he now wants to marry, and currently trying to intervene in Utah’s gay-marriage debate on behalf of those who “prefer sex with inanimate objects and animals.”

In his Utah claim, Sevier goes on to say that allowing gay people to marry and to deny him the same right is discrimination since they are both sexual minorities. “We are in different classes of sexual orientation, if gays feel as if they are second class citizens, those of us in the real minority, who want to marry machines and animals, certainly feel like third class citizens”.

Sevier is going as far as to cite legal precedents around the world, including a case where a woman married a dolphin and a Chinese man married a cardboard cutout of himself. “Allowing my marriage to go forward will not adversely impact the fertility rate any more or less than a same sex couple. If there is a risk that is posed to traditional marriage and children, both man-man couples and man-machine couples pose it equally. In considering the equal protection clause, there are no fewer policy reasons for preventing man-machine couples from marrying than there are for same-sex couples.”

Both courts in Florida and Utah found his claims “unpersuasive.” Unfortunately for the courts, with gay marriage being tested in the courts it is inevitable that Sevier will file more motions.

 

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